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Gentle Discipline Ideas


spacelover8126

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I'm a fan of gentle discipline and non-punitive parenting, but in practice it can be very challenging.  I find myself putting my daughter in time out even when I want to get away from using it.  If you have any practical tips for gentle discipline/positive parenting, I'd love to hear them.

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My daughter uses pasta! Each of her girls (3 and 6) has a jar sitting on the windowsill, and any positive act by them, no matter how small, is rewarded by putting a small piece of pasta into the jar. If they misbehave, at least one piece is removed from the jar. If and when the jar is full, they get £5 to spend on whatever they wish. It works wonderfully well.

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Thanks, Silva.  I like that idea!  My daughter will be 3 in only a couple months so she is likely old enough for such an approach.

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Silva, after reading your suggestion we are trying this method out as well. Yesterday was our first day, but I have definitely seen a change in my three year old's behavior. So far all I have had to say was "Do I need to take some pasta out of your jar?", and she has immediately straightened up. :) Thanks for the great idea!

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Silva, after reading your suggestion we are trying this method out as well. Yesterday was our first day, but I have definitely seen a change in my three year old's behavior. So far all I have had to say was "Do I need to take some pasta out of your jar?", and she has immediately straightened up. :) Thanks for the great idea!

You're welcome LA! I'm very pleased to have been of some help and I'll be sure to pass your great results on to my daughter who must take the credit. I hope you have success too, spacelover.  :)

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I think it gets easier as they get older. My children are getting to the point where they want to make good choices and have enough self-discipline to do so on a more regular basis. They are starting to understand real-world consequences, so it is effective to talk to them in a quiet moment about the choices they are making and how to make good choices.

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I did have to take some pasta from her today, and she cried like the world was going to end so I would definitely say that it is working. Today I took her with me to the store and she got some candy from the shelf and started eating it. Thankfully, I noticed it and went back and paid for it, but we are having a time trying to explain WHY that was wrong. (That is not what lost her pasta because I know she genuinely still doesn't know why it was wrong)

We tried to explain it with an example of if she takes a cookie off the kitchen counter mommy and daddy already paid for it and it belongs to us. If she takes something at the store and starts eating it it does not belong to us because we haven't paid for it.  :-\

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