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  1. Last week
  2. Pokcare

    On Being Vulnerable Again

    I didn't know how difficult it was to deal with my trust issues until I've become closer to another person again. Jumping to conclusions has become a defense mechanism, and making assumptions to prevent any damage from expecting peace again. For a long time, I was alone and believed that people were mere passers-by. I find it really difficult to change this mindset. It feels like one happy moment, and the risk of getting destroyed becomes present. How do you trust?
  3. Earlier
  4. How'd I find out I was bipolar? What is it like to live with it? Here's just part of my story... I found out I was bipolar at at the age of 13. But there was signs before that. An this was before the term manic and bipolar was being tossed around. I use to go from 0 -100 real quick. No forewarning or anything. The best example I can give is, I've flipped out because someone said "Hi" to me. And this was after a great day out with my mom shopping and going to eat, we went home and was watching a movie. Then...... They walked in and just said HI to us and it was over from there. I flipped out, punching walls and trying to hurt myself. An seriously, it was 3 weeks, before I finally came back down to a normal level and realized everything that had occured. One of the longest episodes I've had, up until recently. I just went nuts and I can't tell you why at all. Punching walls, hurting myself, being rude and saying things a child should not say to anyone, let alone to their own mother. (This was prior to my diagnosis.) When this all took place it interfered with my schooling. My mom ended up taking me to the doctor's too find out what was going on . I was out of control. Couldn't no one tell me nothing. Everyone finally figured out in the end, if you don't want a reaction from me then don't tell me I can't do something. The minute you tell me not to, I would. Then from there had to get a counselor and a psychiatrist. That went on until my grandma passed away when I was 14. During that time I was on med's and doing better than ever. My school even noticed. When she passed, I lost it again and fell off the deep end into despair and ended up in the depression state of my bipolar. I dropped out of school because of that. Started partying all the time. It's all I wanted to do. Drown out the sorrows and pain. I did go back to school the next year and still managed to graduate on time, at 17 with only 3.4 years of highschool under my belt and I made the honor roll my senior year. And I did that all while partying and being a mess up. I had another really bad episode between 17/18 yrs old. Ended up flipping out on the whole 6th floor of the court house in downtown Lansing. It was epic!! That was not one of my better moments and I know that. After that episode I found out I was pregnant and then I miscarried and had to go through a DNC all because my body didn't shed the egg normally. That messed me up, alot.... When I was 19 I had my first child. Almost a year to the date after my DNC. Dec 7 2007... and my son was born December 18th of 2008. Everyone was so worried I'd fall back in to depression. But in all actuality the pregnancy helped pull me out of the depressed state and put me back in a good mindset. Between 2009-2012 life was good. Then my marriage ended. Didn't actually divorce for a couple years. I dated someone and got pregnant, but we ended up splitting up and then... I tried to salvage my marriage and moved to Mississippi. Big mistake. The same thing happened there, that was going on up here and what made me leave him in the first place. Ended up delivering my son by myself in a hospital 1000 miles away from home. THIS WAS NOT A HEALTHY SITUATION FOR ME MENTALLY. Went through post partum after he was born in 2013. It was expected because of what was going on during that time, with my now x husband. But, got my mind back right and started working again and feeling great about myself and my mental health once I was back home. It still took months to find my way. Had a couple relationships during them years and one went really wrong at the end of 2015/beginning of 2016. And unfortunately because of the stuff I was dealing with I went back to self medicating and drinking. Ended up drunk and high for a whole year. Did things I never thought I would. One day I woke up so mad, I went and got a bottle @10 a.m. I got so wasted. I laid in my bed and contemplated my death. I thought about suicide. I literally thought of every way you could possibly die. I just wanted to end it all right there. I woke up the next day and said that was enough. I knew if I didn't stop I was going to end up in the grave. So I made the change and quit drinking that day. Started self motivating myself to do better and get better. And I did. It was a process and I had to train myself to think positively. I literally had to put up motivation quotes. I had like 10. Everyone thought I was crazy because I had so many everywhere. I read each of them more then 10 times a day. And it actually worked. After that I didn't have many drastic manic episodes. That is untill June 2022. What do I do to manage my Manic Bipolar episodes? Well for many years I managed on my own after I spent a year on some medications during highschool.( 10th grade) Unfortunately, like most in my shoes, after we get to a normal, we think it's ok to stop taking our medications. This actually didn't affect me at all and I managed to go from age 19-31 without having any "major" incident's. Yes I experienced mood swings but nothing drastic that couldn't be handled with time and without medication's. I found another relationship and ended up married again. We have went through many trials and tribulations in the short time we've been together. After being pregnant for a long time, (experienced many miscarriages and eptopic pregnancies), about five years total, I lost my mind. I have 4 kids but I've been through 13 pregnancies total. That's 9 lost babies. I've been stuck in a house and couldn't work because of said pregnancies. I went from being independent to helpless it felt like. Your mind is constantly running and won't stop. It'll go from one thing to the next and then go back to where it started. An just keep repeating that cycle. It's exhausting trying to get just one thing done when your mind is in that in mode. My husband got in trouble and was gone 6+ months and that started with me putting a floor jack through the truck window. Life was crap, all because I went bonkers. I hadn't been that way or felt that way since highschool. I finally reached out to my Dr. and got back on some medications. Had some set backs with adverse reactions to 2 different meds. Tried going to my next appointment and they refused to see me because of the sniffles. (During COVID time) A person with bipolar though will only try so many times before they self medicate. And I did because the doctors pissed me off by refusing to see me that day. So after that, months later, I did end up going back to the Drs. again. I got gene sight testing done. It breaks down medications in a list of categories that work, maybe will, and a do not use list. So after about 1.5 years of being in real bad manic state, I finally am getting back to a normal state of mind. I have been up and down, down and up. So it feels good to have some type of normalcy in my life again. Every day is different. Just got to go with the flow. Let it roll off your back, like water on a ducks back. Author's note: I choose to write about this topic and share part of my story so maybe it'll help someone else to know they are not alone. And to show that you don't have to be afraid to speak up. People don't talk about mental health enough. It's like there's a stigmatism about it, or its forbidden to talk about. Mental health is all to real and unfortunately more and more people are taking there life these days. From little kids to our veterans. We need to talk more about what we feel inside. An maybe by me sharing my story, others won't be afraid to speak up. If my story touches just one person, my mission is completed. Just remember if you get knocked down, the only way is up from there. We need to make sure we are not judging people before you even know them. You never know what someone else is going through. Please remember to be kind.... YOU COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE, JUST BY BEING NICE... Even a simple smile could potentially save someone... Laisa's Corner LaisaLeean89
  5. Did you know??? Strange FACTS people don't know Let's get started and in no particular order... Did you know a banana has 5 sides? Did you know Q is the only letter that don't appear in any states name? Did you know Africa is the hottest continent? Did you know "strengths" is the longest word in the English language with one vowel? Did you know Pistachios aren't nuts—they are actually fruits? Did you know that dentistry has been around since 7000 b.c? Did you know the first ever documented movie was made in 1906, Australia? Did you know apples, peaches and raspberries are all apart of the rose family? Did you know crocodiles can survive in the ocean? Did you know there is a geocache on the international space station? Did you know snakes can help determine when a earthquake will happen next? DId you know broccoli contains more protein then a steak? Did you know the oceans produce the majority of the oxygen on earth? Did you know water can exist in 3 state's at once? Did you know crocodiles can't stick out there tongue? Did you know hippo's fart through their mouths? Did you know ancient Rome had traffic jams? Did you know Marijuana has been used since 2737 B.C.E in China as medicine? Did you know KETCHUP in the 1830s was sold as medicine? Did you know Mr. Potato head was the first toy to be advertised on T.V.? Did you know camel's have 3 eyelids? Did you know that animals who lay eggs don't have bellybuttons? Did you know most toilet paper in France is pink? Did you know it use to be illegal for women to smoke in public? Did you know the U.S government poisoned the alcohol during prohibition and killed over 10,000 by the time it ended? Did you know using forks used to be seen as Sacrilegious? Did you know Cleopatra was not Egyptian? Did you know that Iceland has the be worlds oldest parliament? Did you know Richard Nixon was a great musician and he played five instruments in total: piano, saxophone, clarinet, accordion, and violin.? Did you know there are more then 2,000 recognized languages in Africa? Did you know Eleanor Roosevelt ate 3 chocolate covered garlic pills every morning to improve her memory? Did you know giraffe's sleep standing up? Did you know the average lifespan in 1900 was only 31 years old? Did you know George Washington is the only president who DID NOT live in the white house? Did you know George Washington was also not the first face on the one dollar bill? Did you know if you keep a goldfish in a black room it will turn white? Did you know Bullfrogs don't sleep? Did you know fish cough? Did you know a snail breathes through it's foot? Did you know Africa is the second largest continent? These are some interesting facts I've came across in my life. How many did you know or have heard of? Author's note: This world is full of wonder, amazement and mysterious things. Continue to learn and grow. Gain as much knowledge as possible. Never be afraid to ask questions!! The only dumb question is one that's not asked. Remember knowledge is power! And power is knowledge. Laisa's Corner Blog LaisaLeean89
  6. Nickel

    Ice Cream

    It’s always ice cream time, including now with the Memorial Day weekend easing into summer. Currently, I’m loving the classic FatBoy sandwich and Chick-fil-A’s Icedream cone. How about you?
  7. Migi

    Hit My 7th

  8. MG

    Hit My 7th

    I've hit my 7th post!
  9. Hobbies are important. They can add to your enjoyment of life. Here is some advice if you need a new one or want to switch things up: Take inventory of your interests. Figure out what skills you want to learn Get out of your comfort zone and try something new Ask friends and loved ones for recommendations Research free or low-cost resources to try things out.
  10. Tina Turner, icon of music, passed away on May 24th, 2023. She was 83 years old. Here are the titles of a few of her best songs: River Deep - Mountain High A Fool In Love Goldeneye Acid Queen Nutbush City Limits
  11. Migi

    Hit My 7th

  12. Procrastination is a scourge to getting your work and tasks done. There are a variety of reasons one might procrastinate, but if you want to stop here are a few tips that could help. Time management techniques: Time management techniques include the Pomodoro technique, which is something I personally use. Set realistic goals: This can help keep you from getting overwhelmed. Break your goals down to smaller steps. Figure out your triggers: Like I said earlier, there are a variety of reasons people people procrastinate. Examining yours could be useful.
  13. Jemimah_Jedidiah

    Hit My 7th

    Dear Ma'am/ Sir, Good day to you. I have already complied with your request. Kindly check my replies to other members' forums. I sent you a reply but I am afraid you were unable to see it. Thank you and God bless.
  14. Movie genres can create expectations. They can help in constructing the world of the movie. But as viewers, we might have personal attachments to them. My favorite genre is science fiction. What's yours?
  15. Money is an important part of life. Earning from a job is not enough which makes it necessary to earn money from side hustle. Here are different ways of earning side hustle from internet. The first way is to earn from affiliate marketing which helps in earning commission from the products you sell. The second way of earning money is by becoming a freelancer where you provide service by writing content, graphic designing, SEO services etc. The third way of earning money is by doing micro tasks. These are the different way of earning money online.
  16. Organization is an important skill to have, but it can be hard to put into practice. Here are five tips on how to do it: Set goals Make a daily to-do list Set up reminders for deadlines and events Sort tasks based on importance Don't expect it to happen overnight
  17. Migi

    Hit My 7th

  18. lillywatson

    Hit My 7th

    Here I have submitted 6 posts on various topics on this website. This is my 7th post in this thread. Thanks for providing me a chance to submit my posts.
  19. Essentially human body is made up of 90% water. Water is an important component for a person to stay healthy. Here are the benefits of drinking water. Drinking water may help in reducing weight. Regular consumption of water can make you feel young forever as it radiates the skin. Not just this drinking atleast 3 litres of water on a day to day basis can make your muscles stronger. These are the points which prove that drinking water is very advantageous.
  20. Laziness has been an enemy to a person. It kills the productivy and brings in lot of failures to look upon. It not only brings in procrastination but also affects time management. To remove laziness and procrastination, one must choose a healthy lifestyle. Yoga, pranayama, meditation early in the morning helps in beating laziness. The other remedies to eradicate laziness is to consume less amount of coffee and tea and also adopt lifestyle where you consume less spicy food, include greens and vegetables, fruits in your diet.
  21. With ChatGPT and other AI tools in the market, it has harvested fear in terms of replacing humans with technology. But I believe that AI can aid in reducing human's work stress but will never completely replace them. AI is all about automating the job and saving time. It may be accurate with all the solution it provides but can never be as intellectual as human beings. AI has definitely changed the perspectives of looking at the world today. From writing codes, essays and what not, AI is here to stay. It completely depends on human how they take the use of AI to lessen the burden of work and not anything else beyond that.
  22. We all have faced a difficult situation once in a while. What do we usually do when we are stressed or have got panic attacks? We often go to doctors and take a few tablets to revive normalcy in health. Normally it is risky to be always stressed as it affects the heart and gives numerous heart problems. One of the best solutions to these are from spiritual levels and to set the right mindset. To set the right mindset, it is necessary to just start accepting things than to expect from the situation we face. It is also important to adjust to the situation than cribbing about it. Smiling through the situation has always been a saviour. This way, adjusting and not expecting things have helped many to lead a happy life.
  23. With changing seasons comes various weathers but due to global warming the seasons have turned the tables around. Here in my place, we have heated summers raising up in the sky but get to see heavy rains at the same time. This makes it difficult to contemplate the sudden weather changes that happens within a switch of a minute. Global warming is a heated up issue that gets addressed every now and then and has made huge impact in our day to day lives. The ice glaciers that are rapidly depleting has definitely made it necessary to think about global warming. Growing more trees, making more environment friendly houses and buildings, rain water harvesting are few of the solutions that can help us get a bit of relief.
  24. Come 2023, it's bitcoin everywhere! Just few years back who would have thought that payments would be made through digital currency called as crypto currency. Not just bitcoin but others such as Litecoin, dogecoin and ethereum to name a few have come a long way. Along with the digital currencies, a term that was coined just few years ago has much of news. It is called NFT. So many transactions made with just one click of a button. The crypto currency are not only transparent but convenient to use. This has made our lives much easier. It is sure that these crypto currency will surpass other digital currencies in coming years.
  25. If you want to get back into reading for fun, here are a few tips: Make it a routine: Set aside a time everyday, even if it's just a few minutes. Book Clubs: Join a book club. You could potentially find one in your area on a site like Meetup. Don't go overboard: Set manageable goals, or you could become overwhelmed.
  26. Jemimah_Jedidiah

    How not to become dependent on a person.

    As the saying goes, "No man is an island". No one can survive living alone. We all need someone to depend on. However, what you said is true that we can never be too dependent on other people. Too much dependency could lead to an inability to cope with problems on our own. Other people can also abuse our dependency on them as a way to manipulate us. These tips are necessary for people who have the tendency to rely on others all the time.
  27. Jemimah_Jedidiah

    Would you like to be financially stable?

    I would say financial stability is relative. People often equate financial stability with having lots of money. However, it is not the case. You can have millions in the bank, yet if you have many debts, I wouldn't say you are financially stable. On the other hand, if you have little savings but are debt-free, you can be considered more financially stable than the first example. That being said, the tips given by the author are quite helpful.
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