Children sleeping in your bed

[Mr Burd]

What do people feel about children sleeping in bed with their parents? Do, or did, your children sleep in bed with you? What age did they stop, or do you feel it's appropriate for them to stop? Do you feel it's a healthy, loving and natural thing for a family to do? Has it put a stress on your sex life? Do men put pressure on women to not allow their children to sleep in with them?

[graumary]

I have a seven year old child that mostly sleeps in her own room and bed (since one year old), but is allowed every once and awhile to come to sleep with us. It's ok for all of us as long as it's just occasional, like when her seeing a bad dream and waking up in the middle of the night, or feeling sick or sad or for some other special occasion. I would not feel comfortable a child sleeping with us every night. It just wouldn't fee right. It would definitely affect our marital relationship. This arrangement that we have, keeps us all happy.

 

[Erika]

My baby slept in the bed with us every night for the first year. I was breastfeeding, and the first couple of weeks he was home I kept falling asleep holding him. We weren't planning on bed sharing, but I finally accepted it and justified it as being safer than me being up and down all night.

There was a definite pressure from my fiance to get the baby out of the bed, but I just couldn't do it! I didn't get any real sleep until I stopped breastfeeding and put him in the crib for naps and bedtime. Occasionally he sleeps in the bed when he's sick or I need some cuddle time.

I loved every minute of it and I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

 

[Hazecka]

I know a little boy who's 10 now. Until a very late age (9 or so) he went to sleep in his mother's bed in the middle of the night. It took us a very long time to figure out where that came from. Himself felt ashamed and embarrassed that he could not spend the whole night in his own bed. Now, that child had been carried around from places to places all his life, his mother is a single mother so basically she is his only stable anchor. I think that has a lot to do with it. Children need stability and comfort. Besides,he lost his twin brother in utero and my personal opinion is that he is just looking to recreate the warmth of having another being breathing next to you while you sleep. It just so happens that mommy's there By now, those days are over and he sleeps very well each and every night in his own bed. I think every child has different needs and we should try and understand them rather than make one simple rule that applies to all.

[Sondrajms]

I had such a disagreement with an ex-roommate about this. She thought it was ridiculous to allow a child to sleep in their parents' bed at any age. I told her I slept in my parents' bed until about age seven or so! She was disgusted. I told her that those memories of sitting up reading with my mom, listening to music with my dad, being silly in the mornings, etc. are some of my greatest memories!   Plus...I was way too afraid to sleep alone at that age. But then, I was allowed to watch the scariest movies, so really, it was their fault! 

  

[beautiful_twister]

I have never allowed my baby to even lay in my bed, and she is six months old. I don't feel safe with her in the bed with me, because I am scared I will hurt her. I feel like a child needs their own space to sleep . Honestly, I never wanted her to sleep in the bed with me and her father because it would have ruined our sex life. Our bed is our place to be together without the baby, and I have watched my baby sleep in her crib and she moves entirely way too much to sleep with me. Everyone has their own preference though, and to each their own.

In my opinion no child should sleep with their parents, but if the parents chose to do so then I would say the cut off age should be four.  I don't think having a child sleeping in the bed is healthy for a marriage, but who am I to judge?