Long distance relationship

[helra]

I live in a long distance relationship with my husband for about a year now. In many ways it helped us getting closer to each other by only being able to talk, on the other hand it's so horrible in many ways and we can't wait to be together again. What are your thoughts, experiences or both about long distance relationships? Can they survive the distance? Could it help couples getting closer to each other? Can it end a relationship?

[KarissaL]

I believe a relationship can thrive despite the struggles long-distance creates. It can be difficult to deal with the lack of physical communication and personal intimacy, but it can be beneficial in other ways. You're communication can improve through phone calls and other technology, and they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I've been in one long distance relationship when my boyfriend was gone for work for about two months, and while it was hard, it wasn't the reason we finally broke it off. Honestly, after he got back, I was seeing a bit too much of him for my taste. 

[erin212]

I feel your pain – I was in a long distance relationship many years ago, during college.  As in….way before Skype and FaceTime and even texting, so we only had phone calls!  Happy to say it was worth it, we have now been married for over a decade.  I do think some of the newer technologies today would make things easier, when you can actually see the person’s face and expressions.  But regardless, I believe to make it work you have to know the end is in sight (i.e. a limited duration) and keep making time for those calls or visits to stay connected emotionally and have something to look forward to.  Good luck, and hope you can be together again soon!

[BigUncleCarl]

My experience is that your image of the person becomes distorted because they can wear any face they want in short conversations. You get a person's "real" side when they experience random life events. Example: when I'm on the phone, I can present myself in a really good light, and you'll never see me cuss out my waiter or flick someone off in traffic.

I think that the time you've known the person, and the length of time you'll be apart play major roles in your relationship succeeding. What are you looking for in a relationship anyway? Do you need constant affection and attention? Is it more about sharing expenses?

I wouldn't go out seeking a long distance relationship. They are definitely harder than being in person. But if both of you are going in similar directions and the distance won't last very long, I say go for it. You may want to visit each other every few months though to keep things fresh.

[crazyperson42]

They can work but I also think you need a physical connection at some point for it to really last. I've got a friend whose ex kept saying she was going to move back to the area and live with him but she never has. Shed visit once in a while but most of the time she was all excuses and lies. He fell for it too much and it's taken it's toll on him. You want somebody whose actually there for you, not somebody who is just in it for themselves.

[Snjofalladrifa]

I have been in two long distance relationships, one that ended a couple of years ago and one that is currently going strong. I think it depends on the people and their relationship if they can make a long distance relationship work.

I had been with my ex-boyfriend for a year, long distance for six months, and when we finally lived in the same town again we decided it wasn't going to work out. Maybe we grew apart because of the distance or maybe it just took us longer to notice thing's weren't great, but I think we would have broken up sooner if we hadn't been in a long distance relationship.

My current relationship is long distance and has been for a few months and it is a completely different experience than the last one, that's why I think it depends on the people and their relationship. I also feel like we have grown closer because of it, but it still kind of sucks, but I think it's worth it! I'm moving soon and we won't have this distance between us anymore and I believe it will only have made our relationship stronger.

[PAnna]

Long distance relationships can be rather challenging and require a lot of devotion from both parties. I believe the key to its success is to ensure that there is regular communication. I have been in a long distance relationship for the past two years and we have faced our fair share of challenges as with any normal couple, however we have ensured that we communicate our thoughts and feelings clearly so that we remain on the same page. 

[Medowriter]

To my level of understanding and experience, relationship is basically understanding each others body language,feelings,likes and dislikes. Once the process of communicating these factors are perfect. Regardless the status of the relationship ( distance or close) you will enjoy it. However people who can't stay long in the absence of intercourse should not engage in distance relationship to avoid infidelity problems. 

[raweyes77]

I was once in a long distance relationship and at a point I felt its not working for me. I set out to go and talk to her face to face because phone conversation doesn't show emotions. She's feeling the distance too and doesn't know how to quit. I met her and talked things over and found out its important to end the relationship to avoid infidelity and trust issues. The best thing is to go close to your spouse or moving to the same city.

[Ewelina]

Me and my husband are the best examples of how long distance relationship can work. It's been more than a year since we live apart from each other. The physical distance between us only strengthened our love and let us communicate better, discover each other again and realize our needs. If the feelings are true then no time nor distance can kill it. It's in our hands to build a strong relationship based on mutual respect and trust no matter we are close or apart from one another.

[jeweledlizards]

My experience with long distance relationships has never been good, but I am always willing to try again, as every person is different and I'm always changing too. The worst time was when my significant other became a Marine. He became a completely different person, and I didn't notice it until we were face to face again. An above poster was right, you only see what they want you to see with the phone or webcams. When he came home, many of the things that matter most in a relationship were gone. Personally, I continue to accept long distance because I am generally a loner and not very physical. Therefore, I could easily have a relationship with someone that I trusted and could communicate with well.