Marriage as a prize

[Denie]

I have some mixed feelings when it comes to the idea of marriage. On the one hand, I was brought up to believe that as a woman, you were not 'validated' until you found yourself a good man to marry and start a family with. Now I know so much more and I've discovered that I can be and have anything that I want - and I can do it all without a man if I decide to.

Do you think that the idea of marriage still makes sense in this modern world or do you feel that it's something that worked a hundred years ago, but is not suited to the world we live in today?

 

[Zach]

I love the idea of marriage. The fact that you marry someone you love so much is like creating an invisible rope between you, and that it won't break ever - Well unless you get divorced. Other than that, I love the idea of marriage, and it definitely is suited to the world we live in today. Anyway, I'm only 19, so what do I know about love? But marriage is truly amazing, a lot of people rush into it though, and that's why a lot of people get divorced. If I found a woman I loved, I would wait at least 5-7 years before I proposed, and if I did propose I would have to make sure that my girlfriend wants to get married.

[Postitgirl]

That sounds like good thinking, Zach.

You know, I definitely think that marriage can still make sense in the modern world. As a matter of fact, I believe that modern marriages have the potential to be even more satisfying (for both parties) than ever. I also think that we are presently at a transitional moment in the evolution of our ideas about marriage, so our old assumptions and expectations really need to be examined...and possibly ditched.

I think that it is also important to see marriage as just one a number of equally valid choices a person can make about how they exist in the world and not see it as "validating" anyone's existence. (Everyone is valid in their own right.)

One reason I think that marriage will always be desirable to a great many people is that people (some more than others) inherently tend crave connection with others. Marriage (theoretically) offers the security and depth of a permanent connection.

Jeez! I have so much to say on this subject that I could go on and on for a long time. I will spare you. But, great topic! I am suddenly thinking I should write an article, maybe even a book, on the subject....that's how much I have to say about it. Hmmm. Maybe I will. Thank you for the inspiration.

[MsCarrotCake]

Whenever I think about marriage, all I think about is how I will come up in a beautiful looking dress, how the ring is going to look on my finger, and the huge party that I will be throwing after, with my friends. 

As you can see, I have not mentioned a future husband in that image of what I think my marriage should be like.

I think marriage is very overrated, and I realised I don't want to get married... I just want a nice dress, a nice ring, and a huuuuge party!

[M&K]

Marriage is a very deep topic. It's a difficult one to discuss and not everyone is going to have the same opinion. There is so much to say about it and it's place in our world today. I'll keep my opinion short.

I think marriage still makes sense today and is more important now than 100 years ago, but not in the sense that a person is more validated because they have a spouse or a family. Marriage represents a bond between two people who are willing to spend a lifetime together through its ups and downs. It's hard, but I think it's significance in today's society is magnified when compared to how short term everything seems in our day to day lives.  

Validation, on the other hand, comes from other people's opinion of you. There are enough people, events, jobs, and opportunities today that a person should be able to find validation without any issues, provided they spend the time looking for it.

[GlamGal]

I don’t think there’s a yes or no answer to the question of whether marriage is a good thing or not.  For some people, and some relationships, it adds a sense of commitment, security and family.  There are other people who are very secure and satisfied in living with their partner without ever being married.  

I used to feel like finding a husband was the ultimate goal for my life.  That being married would give me the feeling of security, permanence and true love.  It took a failed marriage for me to see that a relationship is not defined by marriage.  A relationship can be full of love, loyalty, kindness and commitment or it can be full of lies, abuse and anger and whether the couple is married or not doesn’t determine the health of said relationship.

I do question the way society gives certain rights only to married couples.  For example if your partner is sick in the hospital and you want to visit “family only” means if you’re not married you aren’t considered family.  Tax breaks and insurance benefits are only given to married couples.  It feels like society pushes marriage even though some couples may determine that marriage is not what is best for them.