Be appreciative to parents

[Shanbiz]

Sometimes while having a conversation, or overhearing an argument about giving back to parents, I feel that some people are too ungrateful to parents. I know and understand that we are under no obligation to care for or give them anything for what they did for us. However if we are to think about all the sacrifices our parents made for our benefit, we would think differently. Many parents hide the facts from their children, in an effort to shield them, but I believe if more children knew the hardship parents face, they would show more gratitude and have a better attitude. 

[Postitgirl]

We have definitely moved into a child-centric era. Gone are the days, it seems, when respecting your parents was seen as an important thing. From what I understand, this shift is being felt very strongly in Japan because respect for the parent has historically been a very central cultural theme. No more "Father Knows Best;" nowadays, one is more likely to see some teenaged-girl telling her parent to "talk to the hand." (Actually, when I saw that I suddenly saw right through Disney's self-promoted image as "the family channel." I now hold them largely responsible for the decay of the modern American family.)

I certainly would not suggest going back to the attitude that "children should be seen and not heard." However, "parents are people, too." They are frequently imperfect beings because we all are. And they should definitely be legally required to treat their children humanely. But I read something recently that caused me to think things had shifted too far in favor of the kids.

I was reading a publication for runaways in Oregon, and it advised (with regard to physical, mental, and emotional abuse and neglect) that "if it feels uncomfortable to you, then it is abuse." While I get where that is coming from (and it is a good place), I think this kind of statement made more sense when the context was one in which a lot of abuse was not reported out of shame and/or fear of not being believed. That context no longer exists, and that statement no longer makes sense...because, really, isn't a huge amount of "growing up" and becoming a responsible adult one super uncomfortable thing after another.

What happened earning your privileges? or is having an iPhone now considered a right? and is not being able to afford one now considered neglect? Doing chores is not so comfortable (because you'd rather be playing...and you'd lose your allowance if you didn't), but it contributes to the functioning of the family. Helping your Mom bring in the groceries sucks, but it is not child labor. If a child never does anything more than the very bare minimum and only does that (poorly) if their every move is dictated and accompanied by threats (not empty) of dire consequences, then a lot of life might feel "uncomfortable," and I find it to be questionable to call it abuse when their parent notes that it is going to take a lot of hard work to achieve the goal of being a (professional) singer because things don't sound so great yet...especially when it is noted that it seems like a very achievable goal given that hard work (and all the really good ones got that way by doing exactly that)....Oh, and singing lessons are suggested and offered. Just because one feels hurt does not mean one has been abused. (Not that anything like that happened between me and my daughter, of course....I was just saying).