Raising children

[Fishound]

My girlfriend and I have been talking a lot lately about plans to get married. Inevitably we also start talking about having kids and then pick each others brains on how we would like to raise them. Usually we end up talking about things we liked about our parents and things we didn't like. However, lately I have been thinking that parenting should not be a strict rule book but an understanding of your child genetically. After all our child is virtually our own "Mini-Us" and you never know what traits they will and will not pick up. I think it is best to try and target which characteristics they are showing, and if they are ones either of expressed when we were younger then we need to ask how did that trait become corrected -- if at all? Of course we are the same species and generally we have common behaviors, but I think the more important variable is being able to identify the personalities they are manifesting and where they came from. What do you think?

[Lots2Say]

Parenting your children does have a lot of "Mini-Me" moments, however, that has more to do with the you that you are today in the here and now and in front of those children. Kids will always see you more than they hear you. Yes, we give them rules and teach them to share and not to hit, but if your reaction to most things is to blow up and lose your temper then they will become the same. If they hear you yelling and being disrespectful to people around them then they too will yell and blow up disrespectfully to the people around them weather they be children or adults. They will take on the characteristics they see in you such as self-pity, anger, fear, mistrust, and low self-esteem. Worrying about what characteristics of you and your partner they may or may not pick up and how that particular trait may have been corrected or not in past generations is not exactly what should be the question. I always told my children to pick a mate that is like minded to them in finance, marriage, religious beliefs, and parenting because as you come together it is important to be united in theses matters so they don't become points of contention and strife between you and your spouse. All these matters are important, but when you have a child it is a must that you and your spouse be as close as possible so that your child doesn't see a divide between you. Children are inevitably always going to have some irritating traits of their parents, some all of their own, and influences from society, however, if they have had a loving, safe, and structured environment with positive, unified parenting then most of the time I believe they will grow up well rounded law aiding, productive, and emotionally healthy individuals. Do you agree?